The roots run deep, way beyond the game, field, players, referees and coaches. The scores are what they are. Some have medals and trophies and some do not. All of those things are visible to everyone. But there’s more that’s not seen. And I suggest that it is the more important aspect of what we do.
The late Dale Davis used to remind us that the soccer experience for some players may be one of the only positive experiences in their lives. We may never know. I always remember that when I deal with players.
I want to share a handful of scenarios that I have experienced personally. I started coaching in 2010 and in that time, I have had the opportunity to interact with many players and parents alike. I see them around town, sometimes they are cashiers at fast food joints or waiting tables at a restaurant. I coached my son from 2010 to 2015 and one of the players became his best friend because of being on that team. I still see Pat today and he still calls me coach after 11 years. My son coaches with me now and it’s allowed us to connect in ways that would not have happened. There have been many instances where players reached out to him to act as a reference when they are applying for a job. One player told us that he was struggling with chemistry and we offered supportive words and followed up with him a few weeks later. We encourage independence in these youth where appropriate, asking them to take responsibility for their lives in small ways. I feel that they can use these things to model bigger aspects of their lives as they grow.
It brings me joy to see players come back to our league after they missed a year. And I make sure to tell them that.
We help players earn the volunteer hours they need to graduate.
I have seen other coaches do similar things. One coach showed me his phone and it was a player that we both knew, who was calling him. And this was in the off season.
We have had players share personal stories of their own lives and we listen. We have been privileged to mentor some in ways that go well beyond the field.
Recently, we reached out to a few players who we knew had financial difficulties and encouraged them to register and we (the league) covered the cost.
I am still in awe of the level of connection this sport and this league makes possible. It isn’t a business. It is a community, a culture, a connection that binds our city together in intangible ways that can never be measured.